Lost in Translation

Today I was studying Shakespeare with my 8th graders when it occurred to me- if I had this kind of explicit instruction on the Bible, maybe I would enjoy reading it more.  Face it, most of us Gen Xers grew up with the King James Version.  If you went to a conservative Christian school like me, you were taught that the KJV was practically breathed by God.  My Bible teacher used to call the NIV - the New International Perversion.  I've since learned to distinguish between translations and paraphrased versions of the Bible and I believe each can be used while talking and listening to God.
Twenty years later, I'm teaching my kids the stories from the Bible and they are beginning to read it by themselves.  They have access to many versions, some of which I want to share with you, and others I'd like to warn you about.

1.  For toddlers and preschoolers, any book with Jesus' picture is fine, right?  We are just introducing them to the idea of God's word.  In our baby sabbath school, we used to just look into little felt books and find a sticker of Jesus inside.  The Bible is what we use to read God's word.  That's the basic concept.  Wilo (my 4 year old) loves taking a Bible to church. I like that she feels that's a necessity, but sometimes it's just one more thing I have to carry.  :(  Small price to pay for a Bible-loving child.






2.  The Action Bible - pretty cool, right?  Eli (my 7 year year old son)started with the Manga Messiah, which is also a good read, but it only contained the New Testament.  After it reading it through 5 times, we bought him the action Bible.  It can be a little graphic, but the Bible is pretty graphic.  We try to talk about what he reads, but since he is zooming through it, and he's only 8 - I do wonder if the violence gets to him.  But compared to the scary Revelation seminars, I used to go to as a child, it's probably nothing.  Kids these days are such wimps.

3.  When Jaelin started getting into reading the Bible (around 7-8) we bought her a life application Bible.  It's purple and cute and is a translated version, good right?  It also has character studies and how to apply the Bible to your life - more good - NOT!  She enjoyed reading those "Dear Abby" type question and answers in there and ended up asking me what "weed" was - yup.  WEED, POT, MARIJUANA!  I had to explain drugs to my 8 year old because she learned about it from her Bible.  Not happy with this version.  I would have preferred to get her a Bible (with nothing else in it) and an age appropriate devotional book.  I'm not sure that preteens are able to distinguish whether what they are reading is God's word and what's commentary.

4.  But here's an  even worse option. ..The Bible as a teeny bopper girls magazine!  Are you kidding me?   The reviews on this one are pretty harsh, "Girls please don't short change your self ever by thinking you are too stupid to understand something as complex as a book. There is more to you than make-up and boy angst. You were born with a brain because God wanted you to use it, not so that it could be used by those around you." - I love that quote.  I actually love fashion magazines, but let's not pretend that they are God's word.

5.  The Street Bible - kind of intriguing, isn't it?  I don't own this one, but I'm thinking of buying it.  I, like most educated young people in the US, can use and interpret a few different dialects.  I read Jane Austen and understand it. I listen to rap and understand the messages.  I've gone to Indian church and totally followed the sermon.  I may be monolingual but I have some language skills.  So this may be a good addition, just to see what Jesus would really say to the homeless man on the subway.

5.  This one is my favourite.  It's always with me, cause it's on my phone.  I can read the verse of the day if I have just a minute.  I can follow the pastor's sermon at church. I can even read a passage and compare many different versions to see what "speaks" to me at the moment.  The New Living Translation is the best one for me right now- but language is a living, ever changing thing.

What it comes down to, is that you can't read the Bible, just like you can't read the newspaper or a medical journal or any piece of Nonfiction writing without considering the author/translator/publisher and his/her views.  Our biases are present in all that we produce (our writings, videos, photography and our kids).  Acknowledging those biases and get on with your life.  

From the pulpit

I try to stay away from the pulpit. I hate being on stage in front of people.  But time to time (pastor's appreciation, Adventurers, etc...) I am forced to stand up there in the bright light for everyone to see and talk about.  (Can you hear my introvert insecurity?)  When I'm up there, I'm always surprised at what a vantage point pastors and the praise team has to observe what's really going on at church.  Sometimes when I'm sitting in the audience, I think no one is looking at me.  But really, everyone on stage can see you.  And sometimes they are surprised at what you are doing down there.  Maybe I should start a Dear Abby type column about appropriate church behavior.  Because people just don't seem to know what's ok.  For starters, here's some of the things that angry pastors wives and their husbands hate to see you doing in your pew (or chair) at church:

1.  Texting - I know some of us have our Bibles on our phones these days, fine.  But checking Facebook, Word with Friends, or the Groupon deal of the day is really inappropriate.  And we can see it from behind you, next to you and from the pulpit.

2.  Eating - A piece of gum or hard candy is no big deal.  I sometimes need that sugar rush to get me through the service.  But sometimes things go too far.  I've actually seen someone  eating a sausage patty during the sermon.  I know there's a million 6 meal a day diets out there right now, but once a week, please time your protein snacks around the 1 hour that you are at church.

3.  Painting your nails - I hope I don't have to explain this one.  Painting, clipping or filing of your nails should be done in the privacy of your home or a salon.  The same goes for cleaning your ears, flossing your teeth, and brushing your hair.  And all you touchy feely couples out there - hold hands or put an arm around your spouse to show affection.  Kissing, nuzzling, massaging and playing with their hair is over the line.  Get a room.  

4.  Disciplining your child - My favorite offensive move is putting your hand over your screaming child's mouth.  Sometimes this is a quick move that you need to do to get your child out of the sanctuary quickly.  No problem.  I'm a parent and I know that kids have outbursts.  It's a part of life.  But if you are holding your hand over their mouth while they scream continuously for 10+ seconds, you are being inappropriate. The same goes for pinching your child, scolding, or slapping.  Have a gentle talk with your unruly child - in the lobby or restroom please!

5.  Making change out of the offering plate - First of all, this is 2013, why are you carrying cash?  Secondly, are you only willing to give God your ones?  If all you have is a 5 or 10, why don't you give it all - are you going to miss the change THAT much?  If you can afford to tip the barista at Starbucks, you can probably afford to tip God.  If all you've got are bigger bills, and you ran out of checks, and don't own a computer or smartphone, go out to the office or back of the church and ask the treasurer for change.  The rest of us in your row do not want to watch your lengthy bank transaction.

6.  Making rude facial expressions - I'm probably most guilty of this one.  It's hard to fake it sometimes.  Try to remember that the pastor/worship team/prayer leader CAN SEE YOU.  No matter how bad the music or grammatical error, Do not roll your eyes.  If the prayer warrior starts speaking in tongues or the dancers wave their flags into your personal space, try to stay neutral.  They will see you giggling and be offended.  It may be what you want to do, but its not very polite.

7.  Gossiping about your week - I know church is a social place. We greet our friends, make plans for lunch or remind each other of special events, but save this stuff for the hallway.  It's distracting to all those around you as well as the people onstage.

It's hard to keep all of these things from interrupting our worship. I find myself wanting to do many of the above things during church, but I have to stop, and control myself.  Going to church is about worship.  FOCUS REJ FOCUS!  Attention is a learned skill.  It's not inborn.  But when you train your mind to stay clear and open to God, you can hear Him talking to you and through you.

No one is forcing you to go to church.  If you've got better things to do than worship God, why are you at church?  Go home, hang out in the parking lot or meet your friends after church for lunch.  You aren't fooling God or anyone else.  You are just fooling yourself into thinking that you are church-going Christian.  That's not my issue.  That's between you and God.  Just stop trying to take me down with you!

sMOTHER!

I'm in that stage of parenthood where finally I can withdraw just a little of the over protectiveness that characterized the infant and preschool days of my children's youth.  I'm starting to let them walk to the end of the block without being right next to them.  I don't hyperventilate when I drop them over a school friend's house for the play date.  I don't check over every word and problem of their homework. I've taught them the basics and want to see them apply some of their own common sense and problem solving skills.  

I'm loving it.  As they get their independence, I get my independence back.  But as I watch my parents and in-laws, I wonder, when do parents start latching on again?  Or do Indian parents never let go?

This week the whole Dixit clan has been sick.  Two of us had the full blown flu, and the others of us (who got our flu shots this year, nag, nag) were sick for a couple of days.  Early in our illnesses, I told my parents that Kumar and Wilo were sick. My mom immediately swooped in and came to take care of Wilo, so Kumar could rest.  Awesome!  This is why we live close to extended family, right?  She brought over Rassum (sp?), an Indian sickness soup remedy that I love.  She hung out at our house allll day long- I tried not to complain (which was testing my patience after the 10th hour of her help), but it was one day, I could deal with it.  That was last weekend.

As the illnesses have taken their course, taking down the other two kids and then finally slowly letting us go,  my mom's been calling a couple of times a day to check on everyone's progress.  "A little bit better mom. Yes, I'm giving her fluids.  No, she's not dehydrated.  Yes, he's talked to his doctor. I know, they should have gotten the flu shot.  blah blah blah."  

Then Kumar's mom got back from Canada and wanted in on the action.  So she started calling a few times a day to see if I was properly taking care of her son.  Finally, for the last two days,  Kumar's dad  joined in with the phone calls 3 times in ONE HOUR, trying to find out how Kumar was.  When I finally talked to him, he chastised me for not picking up the phone and added that he is praying for us each by name every night.

Now I was really miserably sick for 24-48 hours in the middle of the week.
I'm an introvert (yes, an introvert blogger, which my SIL thinks might be an oxymoron), but when I'm sick, my introvert self just wants to be left alone.
 I don't want my temperature taken.
 I don't need fluids.
 I don't want you to dab my forehead or talk to me in a calm, soothing voice.
All I want to do was sleep.
That's how I recover so quickly ("SUPER INTROVERT SLEEP" - I should coin that phrase and make a pill for that).   But when I was deathly ill, could I sleep?  No, all those extroverted, smothering parents were making my phone ring every 10 minutes!!!!  Argh!!!!

So when's the switch, I wonder.  As I'm finally relaxing into parenthood, when does my guard go back up, and I start smothering my kids again?  Will it be when they are teenagers, and I wonder what kind of trouble they are going to get into?  Or will it be when the last one leaves the house (in 14 years, 9 months and 4 days), when we have an empty nest and nothing to do?

Somehow I hope that I will have more of a life to be hyper-concerned with my children's every cough and sniffle, but I wonder. ....   I am my mother's daughter.

Time, time, time ...

see what's become of me.  While I look around at my possibilities.....
If you are a child of the 80s and 90s, you should be humming the Bangles right now.

After a slammin' New Year's party, Kumar says to me, "It's a new year. So what? Is it any different than yesterday?"

OF COURSE, it's different, it's January.  It's 2013.  Time to make some changes.
I'm usually one of those naysayers, one of those people who can't bear to make resolutions that I'm going to break anyway.  But this year, I'm inspired.  I love the new year.  It's a chance at a new start.   A time to reboot... Here are some of the changes I'm thinking of making this year.

1.  Clean mouth, clean heart?  Christmas is over, so is my potty mouth back?  My Advent promise to stop cursing did make me more aware of the language I use myself and the language that is often around me.  My kids say what I say and do what I do.  I know what kind of adults I want them to be, so I'm going to be that kind of role model now.  I'm not 100% clean, but I'm more than half way there.  So I'll start with this resolution, since I've already made progress on it :)

2.   Exercise... yeah yeah, I do this one every year.  This year I really want to improve my stamina at running and my flexibility.  I'm not getting any younger, 40 is looming.  But I feel better than I did when I was in my 20s.  So I'm gonna keep fighting to stay looking and feeling good.  But it's not just about exercise, I want to feel good inside too.

3.  Mindfulness - I often spend my days on auto pilot.  Wake up, get the kids off to the school, go to work, come home, cook dinner, homework, TV, bed.  Repeat.  Am I really living?  Am I noticing the little things that are happening every day?  I sometimes worry that my addition to electronic devices keeps me from making eye contact with my kids, and keeps me from really looking at the world.           So I'm going to spend try to notice my breathing, my thoughts and live each moment, instead of planning for the next.  

4.   Hugs - During the holidays, I spent a lot of time with my family.  With some traveling and sleepovers, we had a lot of physical time together.  I liked it.  So I'm going to continue with more hugs to the kids, more hugs to Kumar, and maybe more hugs even to you.  If you are uncomfortable with touch, watch out!    You know, touch can be healing too.  I just read that massage reduces stress and even strengthens your immune system. Who needs a flu shot, right?  Although our insurance is cutting our massage benefits this year (BOO Adventist Risk Management), I hope I can still eek out regular massages as part of my "Be healthy plan". It's part of my new year's resolution, right?

5. Courageous Conversations - When I worked in Montgomery County, I went to a training called Courageous Conversations about Race.  It really taught me a lot about how different people think about race.  But I need courageous conversations about more than just race.  We need courageous conversations about gender, marriage, motherhood, mental illness, life.  I don't want to live a charade.   I want to have these conversations with others that allow me to understand and be understood more fully.

I should probably stop here.  Too many resolutions, too many failures?  Should I focus on one per month, one per week?  I like to have a plan.  I'll have to think about it.  As for now, call me out people, If I want to keep my resolutions, I'll need your help.