Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Time, time, time ...

see what's become of me.  While I look around at my possibilities.....
If you are a child of the 80s and 90s, you should be humming the Bangles right now.

After a slammin' New Year's party, Kumar says to me, "It's a new year. So what? Is it any different than yesterday?"

OF COURSE, it's different, it's January.  It's 2013.  Time to make some changes.
I'm usually one of those naysayers, one of those people who can't bear to make resolutions that I'm going to break anyway.  But this year, I'm inspired.  I love the new year.  It's a chance at a new start.   A time to reboot... Here are some of the changes I'm thinking of making this year.

1.  Clean mouth, clean heart?  Christmas is over, so is my potty mouth back?  My Advent promise to stop cursing did make me more aware of the language I use myself and the language that is often around me.  My kids say what I say and do what I do.  I know what kind of adults I want them to be, so I'm going to be that kind of role model now.  I'm not 100% clean, but I'm more than half way there.  So I'll start with this resolution, since I've already made progress on it :)

2.   Exercise... yeah yeah, I do this one every year.  This year I really want to improve my stamina at running and my flexibility.  I'm not getting any younger, 40 is looming.  But I feel better than I did when I was in my 20s.  So I'm gonna keep fighting to stay looking and feeling good.  But it's not just about exercise, I want to feel good inside too.

3.  Mindfulness - I often spend my days on auto pilot.  Wake up, get the kids off to the school, go to work, come home, cook dinner, homework, TV, bed.  Repeat.  Am I really living?  Am I noticing the little things that are happening every day?  I sometimes worry that my addition to electronic devices keeps me from making eye contact with my kids, and keeps me from really looking at the world.           So I'm going to spend try to notice my breathing, my thoughts and live each moment, instead of planning for the next.  

4.   Hugs - During the holidays, I spent a lot of time with my family.  With some traveling and sleepovers, we had a lot of physical time together.  I liked it.  So I'm going to continue with more hugs to the kids, more hugs to Kumar, and maybe more hugs even to you.  If you are uncomfortable with touch, watch out!    You know, touch can be healing too.  I just read that massage reduces stress and even strengthens your immune system. Who needs a flu shot, right?  Although our insurance is cutting our massage benefits this year (BOO Adventist Risk Management), I hope I can still eek out regular massages as part of my "Be healthy plan". It's part of my new year's resolution, right?

5. Courageous Conversations - When I worked in Montgomery County, I went to a training called Courageous Conversations about Race.  It really taught me a lot about how different people think about race.  But I need courageous conversations about more than just race.  We need courageous conversations about gender, marriage, motherhood, mental illness, life.  I don't want to live a charade.   I want to have these conversations with others that allow me to understand and be understood more fully.

I should probably stop here.  Too many resolutions, too many failures?  Should I focus on one per month, one per week?  I like to have a plan.  I'll have to think about it.  As for now, call me out people, If I want to keep my resolutions, I'll need your help.  

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