Happy Halloween!

I'm a  pastor's wife who loves Halloween - am I the only one?
I've always loved Halloween.  For one, its in the fall, when the leaves are changing and the neighborhood looks beautiful one last time before the cold, dark winter.  Second reason, candy!  I don't think I need to say more about that one. Third reason - It gives families a chance to do something fun together while also meeting and greeting their neighbors.

Growing up, our neighborhood was way into trick or treating.  People would answer the door in their costumes or wait outside (on nicer evenings), saying hello to the kids and passing out candy (yum!).  Ok, sometimes grumpy people just left a bowl of goodies on their front steps, but that just meant more candy for us!  Halloween was so much fun!

I now live in a similar, fantastic neighbor who goes all out for Halloween.  We actually moved into this house right around Halloween, so our first introduction to others on our street was while Trick or Treating.  Nobody in Columbia brings over a pie anymore, but they were welcoming with their chocolate.  (And if you know me, chocolate goes way farther than pie in my house).  So once again this year,  the Dixits will be Trick or Treating.  We only make it to a couple of houses, but its enough to satiate our sweet tooth and say hello to some friends.

It's been a crazy Halloween, since it's the first day back to school after Hurricane Sandy. The kids all had their Halloween parades at school.  Jaelin and Eli's school does something great - they call it the Parade of Words.  Every kid has to have an academic  word that goes with their costume.  Second grade did compound words this year, so Eli was "Bigfoot".  Jaelin's class did verbs - although she was not very creative this year - "Sing".

Seriously, the Best Principal ever!

Men in Black costume with the verb "Neutralize" 

  

Ms. Bailey was Eli's teacher last year.  Her compound word was "Snowman" 

I loved Ms. Thompson's (the principal) costume - Where's Waldo.  She does an amazing job every year making sure the kids have fun while also learning.  For the last few years, we've also had the Oakland Mills Middle School band come (dressed in costume, of course) and play during the parade. This year they played Michael Jackson's "Thriller."  They are good!   It's enough to make me return Jaelin's violin and beg her to pick up a band instrument.

I know some Christians equate Halloween with Satan worship.  But I think celebrating Halloween doesn't mean you worship the devil, just like celebrating Christmas doesn't mean you are a Christian.  It's what we make of it.  Let's reclaim Halloween and celebrate it in a Christian way, rather than letting the baddies have all the fun.

Even if you don't want to let your kids trick or treat for Halloween, please don't turn the lights off and be a scrooge.  Open the door for your neighbors and kids.  Dress up in a Jesus/Angel/Moses outfit.  If you don't like sugary treats, give out apples or popcorn or pretzels.  Just love others in your neighborhood. I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus would do.

The God of Angel Armies...

Yesterday I went to church without my husband, who is on sabbatical.  And there was a little bit of fear in my heart.  I’m alone, what if someone asks about him?   The circumstances around his sabbatical are raw.

I thought about dropping the kids at kids church and hiding in his office, playing Words With Friends,, but I didn’t. I’m a good Christian. I’m a good pastor’s wife. So I went into the church and sat down next to my cousin and her family.  My other best friends soon sat next to me on the other side.  I had friends in front of me, that I texted during the service in the same way I would usually whisper to Kumar.  And behind me was another set of cousins (How many cousins do I have. I’m Indian, we’re all cousins).  I felt like I had an army of angels around me, surrounding me with strength, giving me a big hug.  The sermon ended up being one that I appreciated. I felt God speaking to me, like he often does, even when I don’t know or don’t want to listen.  He’s got my back.  

I know who stands before me, I know who stands behind, the God of angel armies is always by my side. 

Wear Pink for breast cancer

Last year when I heard about the Komen 5k, really I was just looking for a girls getaway with friends.  Sure, I also wanted to support a cause, but I didn't really know anyone closely who was fighting breast cancer. I'm relatively young and healthy, but I am a  woman, so i figured it might just be a matter of time. I would plan a girls weekend (eating and shopping) with a little exercise and good cause in mind- fighting breast cancer. It's something to worry about for the future.  

I signed up with 4 of my close friends and starting training.  The week before the race I heard some disturbing news -Kumar's former intern at New hope, a friend from his academy days in Ohio, was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 28. I barely knew her but it broke my heart. Here is an excerpt from a blog she wrote while fighting this horrible disease:

This post is dedicated to every woman who is fighting, has fought, or will have to fight breast cancer. “Never, never, never give up.” ~Winston Churchill

“Actually, it is a malignancy.” These were the five words that instantly changed my life forever. These were the words of my surgeon who was “pretty sure” two days earlier that the lump I found in my chest a few months before was just a cyst or dense breast tissue. Nothing to be too concerned about. “Of course, there is always the possibility of cancer,” he told me, “but not a large one.” I clung tight to these words and went in for my biopsy ready to just get it over with and head back to New York where I was living and loving my cancer-free life. Two days later I was told I have invasive ductal carcinoma. I have cancer.

I wrote these words nine months ago, just days before heading in for my double mastectomy where I would wake up to be informed that the cancer had spread and was stage three. I was 28 years old. Today I will wake up and head to the hospital for treatment for the very. last. time. Sadly, the hospital has become more of a home to me over the last year. I know a majority of the workers there, many of them read my blog and pray for me daily. They are my family. They saved my life.

I prayed for Abby and followed her blog.  This fall, Abby got the good news that she was (and is) cancer free.  Yay! But since last year I've had to pray for numerous other friends who were diagnosed with breast cancer. Turns out that being being young and healthy isn't enough protection from the realities of disease. This year I didn't get to run the Komen 5k but i wear pink this week to show all of the fighters and survivors of breast cancer that i love, support and pray for them regularly.

Abby Ramirez wrote about her journey with breast cancer at her blog Upper Trunk.  She recently moved to the Baltimore Washington area and we hope she'll soon be a visitor at New hope.  Her story "Surviving Breast Cancer as a Young Adult" was also published  in Washingtonian magazine, October 19, 2012

Who is special?

"Penny is both created in God's image and fallen from grace—like everyone else,"  Amy Julia Becker writes about her daughter with Down Syndrome for Christianity Today . "By giving me a new understanding of God's view of perfection, Penny has offered us a way to participate more fully in the body of Christ as Being fully human implies understanding ourselves as creatures," she wrote. "A major aspect of recognizing my humanity meant recognizing that I am vulnerable, needy, dependent, and limited. Just like my daughter."

This quote literally blew my mind.  I admit, I've been obsessed with quotes recently. I've-been pinning them constantly, imagining painting and crocheting them as part of the  decorating schemes in my head.  But this quote was one the first one I made my status on Facebook.

It changed the way that I see my job, it changed the way that I see my kids, it changed the way I see myself.  I'm a speech language pathologist. I love my job, because I love to teach and work with people, and I feel like I'm making difference in this world, I'm helping these poor kids with disabilities,  but after reading this quote I realize that we all have disabilities, whether others see them immediately, and label us in their heads or on an IEP, whether we realize or never realize  our limitations ourselves. The Biblical truth is : We cannot do it all.

Five years ago when I was pregnant with my bonus baby,a child longed and prayed for and conceived before I was 34. ( after all I do work in special Ed), at our 20 week ultrasound we were told that the baby had heart calcifications.  The ultrasound room was silent as the radiologist measured the baby and questioned me and my husband about our ages and bloodwork.  The last words I remember him saying is that the findings put us at risk for the baby being born with Down Syndrome.

I was devastated. I cried the whole way home, but somehow managed to talk to my friends about it in the month we had to wait for another ultrasound.  In that time, I tried to reimagine my life as a apparent of a special needs child. Perhaps I'd have to quit my job to drive him/her to various therapies, fend off the questions about my child on the playground, and balance the attention that my other two kids wanted with the needs of my "special child." These are things that I see the parents of my students do every day, as a look at them and say to myself, "wow, that must be difficult."

I imagined myself the martyr, a willing and loving mom who would do anything for her child.  I never imagined that I too am a vulnerable, needed, limited, mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, child of God.  all of the people who love me anyway recognize my limitations and here I am thinking that they are the lucky ones to have ME.  Wrong wrong wrong.  I thank them for loving me despite my temper, impatience, abruptness, vanity, etc.... i could go on and on. More than anything I thank the one who knows more of my weaknesses than any other, yet loves more than any other.

Maybe God didn't think I was ready for this lesson 4 years ago, when needy, dependent, loud, funny yet rebellious Wilomina Grace Dixit was born without Down Syndrome.  Perfect in the eyes of the doctors and nurses and her parents and family.  But she is imperfect in the eyes of God. I  think of what great knowledge that I missed out on by not having that experience of what surely would have been a blessing in disguise.  At least now, and I hope forever, when I look at a child or an adults who is may be classified as an "individual with a disability" I see myself.

Your pastor is not.....

Your pastor is a person who is trained to provide spiritual guidance over a congregation of people.  This person usually has skills in preaching, teaching, Bible interpretation and leadership.  They usually need interpersonal skills, counseling skills, musical talent, and media savvy and financial competence.  Occasionally they have skills in other areas as well.  Because they often try to be EVERYTHING to the people of their congregations, church members often get confused and think that their pastors hold other jobs for their congregations.  I just want to clear things up.  Your pastor is not your taxi driver, your personal ATM, your plumber or your mother.  I understand, there are some gray areas…so I’ve made a little list to help you decide whom to call in the following emergencies….

When you want to learn more about the Bible……………………… call/email YOUR PASTOR

When you want to make a donation to a good charity……………… call/email YOUR PASTOR

When you want premarital counseling………………………………call /email YOUR PASTOR

When you want to volunteer to start a new ministry…………………call/email YOUR PASTOR

When the music is too loud at church…………………………………call/email the music minister

When you haven’t received your end of the year giving statement…call/email the church treasurer

When you want to reserve the church fellowship hall……………… call/email the church secretary

When your child heard an inappropriate word in their Bible class….call/email the kids Bible teacher

When your child gets an F on her math test…………………………call/email their teacher

When your dishwasher breaks……………………………………………….call a plumber

When you are having chest pains…………………………………………………..call 911

When you need a ride to the airport……………………………call a friend or Super Shuttle

When you are planning your child’s 1^st birthday party and need someone to dress up as ELMO…………           CALL YOUR BEST FRIEND!!!!!

I know at most contemporary (ie. Rocknroll) churches these days, the pastors seem pretty cool.  But you have to remember, that this is their job.  No matter how friendly or kind your pastor is, your pastor is not your best friend.  This may be a shock to some of you.  But it’s really hard for pastors to be good friends with their parishioners and still maintain the role as spiritual leader/mentor in their lives.

I don’t want to make it seem like pastors don’t ever want to hear from you.  By all means, ask them to pray for your MCAT exams, invite them to your children’s birthday parties, bug them about the music/heat/length of their sermons, but do it during church/business hours.  Problems with work/life balance are the biggest predictor of ministerial burnout.  If you really love your pastor in his/her role, love him/her as a person and a friend too… and respect those boundaries or be willing to take no for an answer.